“Self-love and self-care are about taking care of all of you, which should include both your sensual and sexual side,” Mendes says. “It is fundamental because it is about nurturing and loving everyone is yours. “
We know, as we know, that the topic of self-pleasure can be tricky to navigate—especially if you’re new to the world of sexual health—which is why we asked Mendes to give us an expert summary on how to show the love and pleasure you deserve.
The first thing you want to remember? To maintain a sex-positive mindset, which helps release stress and allows you to explore self-love on a deeper level. “Being sexually positive is not about the job or orgasms,” she says. “It’s about being fully involved with yourself—body, heart, mind, and spirit—and seeing sexual arousal as a life energy in its own right. And sexual positivity is about curiosity and acceptance, not just on the part of your partner, but above all yourself.”
And if toys are something you’re curious about, it’s a good idea to choose one (or more) that has the same sex-positive spirit—like Jimmy Jane™, whose games focus on the principle that everyone deserves a shame-free self-indulgence experience with a variety of options to suit your specific self-love needs (think: toys, massage candles, vibrating panties, and just about anything else you can dream up) .
“Be open to what’s good for you,” says Mendes—as you check out a brief self-portrait of fun games below—and grab one (or a few) at 20 percent off with code good 20exclusively for Well + Good readers.
Keep scrolling to find the single sex-positive game that will take your self-love routine to the next level.
FORM 2 PRO™ – $170.00
Are you really ready for adventure? Choose from five different vibration modes and intensity levels with this small but powerful toy that features a dual-motor design that massages and tweaks forcefully to your liking. In addition, it comes with a magnetic USB charging cord to make the recharging process much faster.
CHROMA™ – $125.00
A solid starter for beginners, the CHROMA™ is a sleek, high-performance bullet that has five vibration modes and intensity levels. Made of clean, non-porous aluminum, this on-the-go device will be a must-have for your self-love.
And if you’re completely new to self-pleasure, keep this tip from Mendes in mind: “Many clients who I see as having no self-pleasant practice begin by touching non-genital body parts with the intent of discovering what’s good. And remain open to discovering something new.”
CHROMA SLEEVE 2™ – $25.00
Give your high quality bullet a good makeover and good looks. This latex-free, water-resistant silicone sleeve – which comes in three different shapes and colors – will add a fun twist to your original experience, allowing you to experiment and explore more during your self-love journey.
DUAL GRIPP™ – $135.00
Since we all have different bodies that respond to pleasure in many ways, we learn about it is yours The body is an important step when you start shopping for a toy of your choice for adults. “Self-pleasure is like snowflakes—we are all unique in how we do it,” Mendes says.
In the name of getting to know yourself, try this vibrator that features a finger mount for an easier grip that doesn’t slip through your single time and a dual motor design that targets the clitoris and g-spot at the same time so you can do less, with more fun…if you notice our drift.
CURVED GRIPP™ – $135.00
With its elegant lines and curved tip, this vibrator can be used to spice up foreplay with a partner or during your one-on-one time.
Mendes advice? Consider self-pleasure as foreplay. “Self-enjoyment is being well-liked to yourself,” she says. “You cannot expect a good lover in another person if you cannot be your great lover first.”
MINI CHROMA™ – $135.00
Whoever told you about the importance of size has never used this game of caution and power on the go. It has an easy-to-use remote control that allows you to switch between seven vibration modes and three intensity levels until you find the one that works for you – no matter when and where suits you.
MINI CHROMA SLEEVE™ – $25.00
Once you’re in your groove, switch things up with one-on-one playtime by sliding this ultra-soft, flexible silicone sleeve—which is also latex-free and phthalate-free—over a MINI CHROMA™ bullet and who knows, you might have just discovered your new favorite style. to enjoy yourself.